


No-one Told Her Forever Doesn't Last

by eves_leaves



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: AU, Abuse, Angst, Clato - Freeform, Domestic Violence, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eves_leaves/pseuds/eves_leaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No-one told Clove forever doesn't last. AU Games-free Panem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No-one Told Her Forever Doesn't Last

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to QuitetheSardonic for the story idea. Thanks for reading; please leave a review if you've any time!

 

**_I don’t want to die, I don’t want to escape. I want to feel._ **

 

She learns escaping from pain is futile, so instead, she embraces it. She learns the pain is not unwelcome. She learns that whilst pain hurts, it is an emotion, and numbness is worse than any other feeling, so she wants to feel.

 

**_It is never only black or white. There are greys. And I wonder if I will ever find the right shade._ **

 

Her lips twist cruelly, long tapered fingers carefully tracing each scar; some pink and fresh, some white and raised. Battle-scars. Each one tells a different story, each just as gory and sadistic as the last. But she’s found a new subject. His body and mind is a fresh canvas just for her to play with. And she decides he deserves a virgin blade.

 

**_I love berries. They bleed the perfect hues of reds and pinks and purples and blues. The blood of the berries. I wonder, when I die, will I bleed just as prettily?_ **

 

She finds it ironic how she’s sitting on an easel again, but this time the artist is not her.

 

**_I’m insane, but I don’t want to be sane. For me, being sane would be insane._ **

 

It’s crazy, and dangerous, she thinks, how she can’t sleep unless his hand is possessive around her thigh or his sinewy arm thrown territorially across her waist, enfolding her, her back to his front.

 

**_You are the sweetest wine._ **

**_You are the most potent poison._ **

 

Her eyes snap open, catching the furious blinking of the flashing digits on the clock. Turning slightly as not to disturb the heavy form next to her, she suddenly catches sight of something on the back of his hand. Red ink. 

 

_N_

_310-6135_

 

Red is for her only; after all, she is the blood that runs through his veins.

 

Her eyes harden.

 

**_There is always time for everything, except for me._ **

 

She slides down the wall, warily eyeing the aftermath of their self-destruction. Broken glassware scatter about on the floor, the reflective glass winking, as if mocking her. Cigarette smoke lounges languidly in the thick, ominous air, clouding her face, almost like a veil which otherwise she would never get to wear. Little blue and purple bruises decorate her arms, marring her fair skin. She finds it inevitable to not think back to simpler times.

 

_“No! Stop it!” she giggles as his fingers dig into her ribs, causing her to erupt into broken chuckles._

 

_Laughing, his fingers dances up her arms. “Why? Ticklish?”_

 

_She nods, a carefree grin on her face. And next thing she knows, she’s on the warm sand being kissed by the dark-haired Adonis. Sighing contently, she thinks: life would be perfect if it stayed like this forever._

 

No-one told her forever wouldn’t last.

 

**_I don’t know whether to cry or laugh._ **

 

He’s already escaped their tension-filled apartment, and she thinks _why not?_ She should be allowed to have fun as well. Soon enough, she finds herself at the bar. Her mind is hazy and clouded and someone is smiling at her. They make her feel giggly, and she is glad to be reminded what it is like to feel gleeful. She almost even forgets about the yellow and purple marks in the shape of large handprints that adorn her pale waist, almost like an ornate belt decorated with broken promises and unshed tears. They lean in for a kiss and suddenly, they’re lying on the floor with a broken nose with _him_ on top of them. By the time he decides he’s done enough damage and backs off, she’s already gone.

 

**_You are red, the colour of passion, lust and life._ **

**_You are red, the colour of hatred, blood and death._ **

 

“Welcome home, honey.” She cocks her head to one side and try to decipher his indifferent expression.

 

Anger flashes throughs his eyes, blackening blue dark against the white. “God’s sake, don’t piss me off even more.” Still, she spurs him on, because this is all she knows, all _they_ know.

 

“Aww, who’s got your panties in such a twist?” Her voice is scathing, spiteful, bitter.

 

She looks up just in time to see his fist clenching up, but before she can raise a hand herself, feels a hot, throbbing pain sear through her cheek. She gapes at him and she can see he’s just as in much disbelief as she is. She crumples onto the floor and watches as he stumbles out, leaving a trail of devastation in his wake.

 

**_Every time you walk away,_ **

**_New bruises form._ **

**_But I breathed through the pain,_ **

**_I don’t regret anything more._ **

**_Now that my eyes have been opened,_ **

**_I see it was just a phase,_ **

**_never shall I say again again,_ **

**_‘I’m forever yours’._ **

 

He's an unmoving black silhouette against the dark wall. He stands impassively, arms crossed over his chest.

"Where were you?" She mumbles almost incoherently.

A cruel laugh escapes those sculpted lips of his and he holds out a hand.

"Come here." He murmurs darkly.

She swallows thickly, "You never answered my question."

He rolls his eyes. "It doesn't matter. Now come here." He tips his chin, beckoning for her to come to him.

A moment of hesitation.

"Don't be difficult, pet.”

And she goes to him, just like that, collapsing into his open arms. Always.

**_I hope you’re not waiting for me to cry._ **

 

“Cry, goddamit!” He growls, taking her head between his palms and shakes, as if wanting to jolt tears from her brown eyes. All he wants is for her to show emotion, to feel so he won’t feel as if he destroyed her soul.

 

But she refuses to be weak. So instead, she fights, her tears leaking out in form of half-hearted punches.

 

**_I know_ **

**_I’m deluding myself_ **

**_into thinking it’ll all work out,_ **

**_I know life isn’t a fairy tale,_ **

**_past experiences_ **

**_has washed away_ **

**_all doubt._ **

 

Pushing her down onto the bed and laying down next to her, he gathers her into his protective embrace. 

 

Beating her fists on his chest, she screams hysterically.

 

Tiring of her mocking rejection to talk calmly and her agitated state, he silences her by clasping a hand over her mouth, and getting bored with that, lets his hand slide down to clench around her throat. She finally- unsurprisingly, relaxes under his firm hold, and quietens down with a genuine smile on her face. He smirks delightedly at her, “You’re twisted.”

 

**_We were so wrong that it was right._ **

 

And suddenly she feels so tired. So tired of everything. She sags against his strong arms and her eyes drop heavily. 

 

He buries his nose into her hair and inhales her scent, vanilla and caramel-bourbon and blackberries and something that’s so uniquely _her_. “Your hair smells good.”

 

Reaching out with her pinky finger, she traces her initials she carved into his fine skin on his right hipbone. She feels him lift her shirt and do the same, tenderly following the jagged lines of the engraving of his own initials on her hip.

 

“I can’t do this anymore.” And she’s surprised with how right those words feel slipping past her normally cruel, cold mouth.

 

She takes a deep breath and breaks out of his cage of arms. Striding determinedly to the closet, she pulls out a small suitcase and starts stuffing in her things that are within reach. Except there are too many things. When did she get so careless?

She knows not to turn around, because if she looks into those eyes of his for just a second, she will lose her willpower. Entice, tempt and snare- his specialty.

 

“What are you doing?” Deep inside, he knows, but he stays in denial. She can’t.

 

She lets out a short laugh and runs a hand through her hair. “I’m leaving.” Can she really do this? This is all she knows. He’s the only one who understands her, knows her and doesn’t mind who she really is. A cold, lost, sadistic bitch.

 

**_It’s never enough._ **

 

She’s on the sidewalk and stretches out her arm for a cab when he bursts out of the front door.

“Where are you going?” he whispers, incredulousness clouding his handsome features.

 

“I’m leaving. I’ll go insane if I don’t.” She mutters breathlessly, looking down, not wanting to see his reaction to her cowardliness. Is it the truth? She doesn’t know. She probably never will. Because she knows what will happen next.

 

As her words slowly, but surely sink in, panic and fear overwhelms his expression. “You can’t leave!” 

 

Vulnerability finally seeps through his carefully constructed walls, revealing a soft side she hasn’t seen in a long time. She doesn’t know what frightens her more, how uncharacteristically he’s behaving or the fact that he actually seems terrified she’s leaving.

 

Before she can blink, she finds herself once again enveloped in the soft shelter of his arms. For a moment, she’s overwhelmed by how perfectly her head fits against the cradle of his neck and shoulder.

 

“I’ll change. For us. I swear I will. Tell me what I can do. Just don’t leave. I’ll do everything.” He breathes, his voice muffled by her dark locks. He’s lying, she knows, but no-one else chases her.

 

And just like that, she’s back inside their flat.

 

A vicious, never-ending cycle they can never escape from.

 

**_There’s no happy, only alright or not._ **

 

She doesn’t say it but they both know: neither of them has to worry about the other leaving.

 

Because they’re the only ones insane enough to put up with each other.


End file.
